Accountability

       I just fell off the cliff.  Actually, I jumped.  I had my wisdom teeth extracted about a week and a half ago.  Long story short, I am pretty sure there was some nerve damage (I go back in on Friday) and something is wrong with my tongue. It hurts to eat.  It feels like there is a steak fry, fresh out of the oil, laying on the right side of my tongue. So of course it would be okay for me to eat ice cream, right?  Of course.  So eat ice cream, I have done.  Everyday.  Sometimes twice.  There was this little voice in the back of my mind reminding me that yogurt and smoothies are cold too, and that it might not be in my body's best interest to get back into the sugar habit, but I quickly told that voice to take a hike.  After all,  I am barely eating anything else.  This worked.  Except for one thing.  The tongue seems to be getting better so I am eating more and more.  Unfortunately, my recent daily rendezvous with the ice cream has indeed reawakened my sugar addiction.  This reawakening paired with my "poor me, my tongue hurts" attitude, led me to the edge of the cliff today.  There to greet me (since I was desperately searching for my fix...the ice cream has run out) was an almost full container of Pillsbury Funfetti Frosting (an old favorite) just waiting for me in the refrigerator.  I dove over the edge and into the creamy mouthfuls of sweet, sugary frosting.  Spoonful after spoonful, never looking at the label, just enjoying each delightful bite.

      The truth is, I didn't really feel all that guilty and really didn't think it was all that bad until a few moments ago when keeping with my rules, I went to plug in the nutrition information from my binge onto www.myfitnesspal.com.  WHOA!  I had eaten over an entire day's worth of calories IN FROSTING!!!!  No wonder I used to have trouble losing weight.  I had no accountability!  When I ate those spoonfuls today I knew it was bad, but I had no idea just how bad!  I used to do this all the time.  Without accountability the lies I would tell myself were very easy to believe.  The devil likes us to convince ourselves that the harmful things we are doing to ourselves are no big deal.  Each small sin, no matter how insignificant it may seem, leads us one step closer to him, and away from God.  As soon as I saw the total number of calories my frosting binge had cost me, I realized how important it is for all of us to have accountability in all areas of our lives.  To daily be examining our consciences and asking the Holy Spirit to show us where we have fallen, even in those seemingly small areas.  Our family does pray an Act of Contrition each night before bed, but I do not do an actual examine of each day before praying this prayer, even though I know you are supposed to.  There is no better time than the present to start, and this episode is proof that God can bring good out of all things, even a frosting binge!!! 

On daily examination of conscience:
http://www.ewtn.com/library/spirit/examcons.txt