I am a convert. Not just the kind of convert that used to be a good Protestant and is now a good Catholic, but the other kind. You know, the kind whose old friends look at the new me with skepticism and whose new friends have trouble believing that I was "really THAT bad". For a long time after conversion (when I say conversion I mean the initial conversion...we are all constantly converting) I wondered why I had chosen to drift so far away from God. I asked, "Where WAS He?" and "Why didn't I know?". The truth is He was always there. I was just choosing to look the other way. I did not want to see Him. He was there with sadness in His eyes when I rebelled against my parents. He was there hoping I would not take that first drink. He was there every step of the way trying to breakthrough to me. I didn't listen. I chose not to see Him. I chose not to hear Him. I threw Him aside, but He never gave up on me. In His eyes I was still the little girl gazing at the crucifix on her grandmother's wall. He saw and still sees in my heart the beauty that no one else can see. He sees and waits patiently for me, and for all of us, to give Him bits and pieces to work with...molding us into the persons He created us to be. There are a million things that I wish I could change about my past, but the truth is, if I hadn't come from the stench of sin that I was bathing in, I don't think I would have the same appreciation for all He has already done and continues to do for me, and for all of us. Wherever we are, He is always there waiting for a simple glance in His direction. With that glance, He can touch our hearts in ways we can't even imagine.
Edited to add this song, which pretty much sums it up: